As Marie and prepare for a short New Years’ vacation that I’m looking at with equal amounts of excitement and worry, I find myself thinking a bit about identity. So have some random thoughts (which may be a little navel gazey, but hopefully not too much).

* * *

Part of tech support is calming people down. I did a little bit of this for a while, and from what I hear, I was fairly good at working with cranky customers.

Not that I had any training, mind you; I just made people calmer by virtue of being me. There’s nothing particularly amazing about that; we all, just by virtue of being who we are, make the people around us behave a little differently.

So I think of humanity in general as calm and reasonable. Because whenever I see people, I see my own calm reflected in them.

I kind of wonder about people who make people around them cranky. I’ve certainly met those people, and in all likelihood they don’t realize they make the people around then cranky; in all likelihood they don’t realize people, in general, are more noble than their own point of view would suggest.

* * *

I haven’t been in a few years, but part of why I like going to TypeCon is, I like the person I am when I’m at TypeCon. I’m a little more outgoing, a little more excitable.

I’d like Marie to meet this person, but getting that to happen would be problematic. When I’m around Marie I tend to let myself fade into the background, though I’m working on that.

* * *

Going to a meeting of the Cleveland Game Developers tonight for the first time, and I’m a bit nervous about that. Historically, I tend to become easily confused when I’m around other programmers — strangely enough, I see most I’ve met as somewhat alien and difficult to connect to.

But I like the idea of being accountable to a group of other game developers — apparently part of every meeting is project updates from the members.

I’m very curious what the group is like, and how I’m going to come across to them.