I noticed a little while ago that my MMO of choice, Star Trek Online, now offers your characters short-sleeved uniform shirts, like the ones worm by some of the medical staff in the first Star Trek show.

I was excited about this, because it means I can make my character look even more mundane — with a little customization, it’s not too far off from the plain black t-shirts I am wont to wear, every day I can.

I kind of like the feeling of being immersed in this universe, but I don’t want to feel like I’m playing a character. I want the character to be a projection of myself.

And while the character above neither looks that much like myself nor a 25th century spaceship captain, that image is less distracting to me than having me play a boxy male character wearing a futuristic jumpsuit.

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As I prepare to run a one-shot RPG tonight, I’m thinking a bit about why RPGs scare me so much.

I think it comes down to being fuzzy about what is expected of me as a player. I never really looked at the role-playing part as a means to an end before, and thus don’t really know what the end is.

I usually think of it like, if the world doesn’t feel real to me during a role-playing game, I’m not playing the game right; I’m failing to do well at the game; and who wants to play a game they’re guaranteed to lose?

I put a lot of pressure on myself to enjoy the game the way I think the other players enjoy it.

But maybe it’s not about me. Sure, I may never find a tabletop role-playing session an immersive experience; I’m just too obsessed with visuals. But as a player, I might be able to heighten the immersion for other people playing, by being part of the world building that’s going on.

My goal, from that point of view, is not necessarily to think like my character, or to lose myself in my character, but simply to entertain. And that’s something I can kinda get behind.